


by definition

by withoutwords



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s04e21 Makani 'Olu a Holo Malie (Fair Winds and Following Seas), First Kiss, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Navy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26317228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: “Seeing you come out of that place,” he says in a low voice, and Steve squeezes his shoulder. “All I could think, all I’ve been thinking for the last two weeks is … he won’t know. One day he’ll die doing something stupid for the Navy and I’d have never told him.”
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 31
Kudos: 220





	by definition

**Author's Note:**

> A little fic for an anonymous prompt at tumblr - the boys have their first kiss after one of them gets in trouble and scares the other. It's a little different from the original request but I hope you still enjoy, anon, thank you! x

Danny’s been off since Afghanistan. Steve may have suffered more head injuries than even the doctors could count - but he knows Danny. He’s been surlier and tenser and more on edge than usual; to the point that he actually snapped at Kono. For something so stupid Steve can’t even remember what it was any more. Being a minute late, or getting his donut order wrong (even though he likes every flavour of donut imaginable) or singing along to the radio or something.

It’s starting to get on Steve’s nerves. 

“What’s your problem, man?” he finally asks one day when they’ve just finished lunch at Kamekonas and are back in Steve’s truck. Danny had gone on a whole minute rant about the state of the backseat - littered with folders and ammunition and a plastic bag that may or may not have some old lunch in it. Again, Steve can’t really remember.

The doctors said that’ll happen over the next few weeks.

“My problem?” Danny repeats at him, his eyes almost disappearing into his head from how much he’s squinting. “My problem is that in  _ the Navy _ you would never have had a thing out of place, you’d never just leave important documents and weaponry lying around, and you wouldn’t, no way, be questioning other soldiers if they told you that you’re being a slob and need to tidy up your act otherwise you’re going to stuck on dishpig duty or something just to teach you a lesson.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says with a tilt of his head, Danny’s voice ringing in his ears. “I know I’m a little slow at the moment, but what has this got to do with the Navy?”

“Everything!”

“Thanks for clearing that up.”

“When is your life not about the Navy?”

Steve blinks. “Uh, right now, sitting next to my crazy partner.”

“Oh that’s great, that is,” Danny says with a huff, turning in his seat and, oh no, Steve thinks. The rants are a lot easier when there isn’t forced eye contact. “This crazy partner flew across the planet, into death valley, to haul your arse back home after you and your  _ Navy girlfriend _ decided to just disappear like the crazy-arse GI Joes that you are, where - where you were kidnapped, tortured and nearly killed because, guess what? You’re in the Navy. And sure, you were doing a favour for a friend, and helping out people in need, and it’s all very commendable, Commander, I’ll give you that, but why, why? Why do you always go back to being that guy, huh?”

Steve’s got no idea what to say to any of that. Danny has barely mentioned the rescue, and while Steve assumed he’d been worried and upset he didn’t think Danny would be … would resent it so much. “Cath’s not my girlfriend,” he says dumbly, because it’s the only thing he can think of.

“That’s what you’re going with?!”

“I don’t know what to say, Danny! You’ve known me for four years, you know all of this about me. Why … what am I supposed to do about it now?”

“Nothing!” Danny shouts, “Nothing, okay, just.”

Danny suddenly punches the dash with a loud crack, making Steve jump. Then again, and again, his hair falling out of place and his shirt threatening to rip around the angry flex of his bicep. Steve reaches for it, grabs Danny by the elbow to stop him.

“Hey, hey, come on, man.”

Danny does stop, slumping into his seat and turning into where Steve arm reaches to snake around Danny’s shoulders. He covers his face with a hand, trying to catch his breath. Steve’s own heart is slamming hard against his chest.

“Seeing you come out of that place,” he says in a low voice, and Steve squeezes his shoulder. “All I could think, all I’ve been thinking for the last two weeks is … he won’t know. One day he’ll die doing something stupid for the Navy and I’d have never told him.”

“Told me what?” Steve says in almost a whisper, and whatever’s going through his mind, whatever terrible places his brain goes to - Grace, Jersey, his family, Racher - Steve doesn’t expect Danny to lift his head and come in to press his mouth to Steve’s.

It’s soft, and dry, Danny’s afternoon stubble scratches Steve’s chin. 

Steve doesn’t know what to do, so he does nothing.

“Shit,” Danny hisses, pulling away and pressing himself as far from Steve as he can. “Shit, shit, shit, sorry. Sorry, Steve, I just …”

“You’ve been thinking about it,” Steve says slowly.

“Yeah.” Danny sounds defeated, hiding his face again while Steve just stares at him dumbly. It’s not that it’s unwarranted - it’s not like Steve’s been warm and loving and tender with Danny more than he ever has, with any man.

He understands where Danny’s coming from.

“I’ve thought about it too,” he tells Danny honestly, watching Danny whip his head around. 

“You have?”

“I mean … not about the kissing - ”

Danny deflates. “Right.”

“But the … all the times I’ve nearly lost you. The thought of getting on with life if you were gone. I got no idea how I’d do that, Danny. And that’s … it scares the shit out of me, man.”

“Me too.”

Steve reaches out to wrap a hand around Danny’s forearm, and Danny covers it with his own. They sit there for long moments, finding their feet and figuring out what happens next. Steve’s not sure there’s enough time to do that - definitely not today. Maybe never.

“You ever do that before,” Steve asks before he can stop himself. “Kiss a guy?”

Danny huffs. “Yeah. I’ve done that before.”

“Right.”

“And you?”

Steve scoffs back at him, throwing Danny a look. “What was all that about the Navy being my whole life?”

“Steve, I didn’t mean - ” Danny starts, but Steve waves him off. He knows Danny was just letting off steam, and it’s not like he’s all that wrong. From the moment he was considered an adult, he was the property of the Navy.

Except now he has home, and Five-0, and Danny.

“It’s fine. But … well even if i wanted to, I wouldn’t have dared. I saw what happened to guys in the squad if they were found out. That was never going to be me.”

Danny’s eyes are boring into Steve’s, and the attention is starting to make his whole body feel strung out, pulled tight. It’s a lot. “Did you ever … want to?”

“I guess … I … tried really hard not to think about it.”

“I get that,” Danny says with a nod, turning in to face him again, their hands still together. “You don’t have to tell me anything, I don’t want you to think I’d force - ”

“No,” Steve says, tightening his hold on Danny’s arm and bringing his face in a little closer. “I’d never think that Danny, you’re my …”

Steve lets his voice trail off. Best friend, true friend, person. Danny’s his person - the person he drives to work, the person he gets coffee for, the person he invites around when he doesn’t want to be alone. The person he trusts with his life - not just his survival, like Kono and Chin and Lou - but his whole life. No matter what happens.

This time it’s Steve who leans in slow - which is just as surprising to him. It’s soft again, just a press of lips and a flutter of eyelashes closing. Danny’s hand comes up to rest gently on Steve’s cheek, sending a thrill down Steve’s spine. His thumb moves back and forth and his mouth falls open on a breath and Steve knows the mechanics of kissing, he knows there’s nothing to be afraid of.

He takes the invitation and lets his tongue slide into Danny’s mouth, lets himself feel the wet and warmness of it - lets himself forget mechanics and procedures and just lose himself in it, in Danny for a while.

Danny hums into it, and pushes back just a little, and it’s good. Steve’s had a lot of good kisses but this is … Danny’s strong and insistent and Steve can smell his cologne and taste his soda and just feel, feel Danny right there under his hand and his mouth. Right there.

“Okay,” Danny says when they pull apart, pressing his forehead to Steve’s. “Okay, that part we can do at least.”

“It’s a good start.”

Danny lets out a small, relieved laugh. “A very good start.”

“It was nice,” Steve says, because it suddenly feels important that Danny knows he chose it and he liked it and he wants to do it again. “Better than nice … it was … really good.”

Danny pulls back enough to smile at Steve, shadows of shyness on his face. “I agree, babe. I figured you’d be as good at that as everything else.”

“That sounded like a compliment.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

Steve smiles, sitting back in his seat but his hand remaining tangled with Danny’s. “We should probably get back. The others will be waiting.”

“Fine,” Danny says with a sigh, surrendering Steve’s hand so he can put his seatbelt on. Steve does the same. “I’m gonna need a distraction from all of that, anyway” he goes on, motioning at Steve.

He pulls a face. “What?”

“Don’t even pretend you don’t know what affect you have on people, Steve, don’t even try.”

“Well if I’d known it was going to make life hard for you,” Steve says, starting the truck and putting it into gear, “I would have done it a lot sooner.”

“Oh that’s cute,” Danny crows, white-knuckled on the door as Steve spins out of the carpark. “You’re a real comedian, you are. Do they pay you to write these jokes? Because you could be making a fortune.”

Steve takes his hand off the gearshift to grab Danny’s knee, looking over at him with a grin.

At least some things won’t have to change. As for the rest, well. Steve doesn’t mind. Danny thought the Navy was Steve’s whole life, but he was wrong.

He’s got everything he needs right here.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](thefancyspin.tumblr.com)


End file.
